What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
