I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
