I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Rumble strips road head = magical
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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