Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
