things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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