So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
