Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
