you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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