So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
