Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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