summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
