are you so shy because you have an std?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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