Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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