His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
