this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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