You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
