You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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