just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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