We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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