I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
