my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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