No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
