I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
