drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
