tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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