If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
