let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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