How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
