Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
