"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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