am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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