you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
