i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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