stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
