It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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