I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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