I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
