I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
