In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
