the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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