they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
