Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so let's talk penis.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
