Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

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(415): View more from California

the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.

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(319): View more from Iowa

How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?

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(208): View more from Idaho

please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

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(817): View more from Texas

Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.

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(850): View more from Florida

I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.

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(585): View more from New York

i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.

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