Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
