i don't like sucking hair
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
