don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
