"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Less talking, more tequila
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
