ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
