Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
