I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
