I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
