I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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