i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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