I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
